The bump turned into a hill

Well, since Todd came, I haven't done well. I knew we'd be going out to eat to celebrate and we'd also be going on a vacation, so I just gave myself license to eat whatever, so now I have some more making up to do. Tomorrow Todd goes back to work, so hopefully my schedule will get back to normal. But I've definitely enjoyed these last 2 -3 weeks, so I'm happy with my compromise.

Bump in the road

It's amazing what a little laziness can do to well laid plans. I was doing awesome up until our ward Valentine's party. I didn't think that I ate too much, but still, what they had wasn't neccessarily low calorie. And it happened to coincide with a day I couldn't run. Then the next day, I couldn't run. On Monday, I took the kids skating with their school, and even though I got exercise in, plus bonus skating exercise, I let my self eat what I shouldn't have. So over the course of about 3 days, my numbers jumped back up a bit. I was hoping that most of it was just food weight, and luckily, most of it was, but still, it made it so now I have to be VERY strict to catch back up. As of this morning, I'm 2 lbs. away from my goal. If I wouldn't have messed up, I should have easily ended up under my goal. But, I was averaging 2 lbs. a week before, so I know I can lose this last little bit.
I upped my running today. So instead of just running 2 miles and then walking another, I ran 2 1/2, walked 1/4 and ran the last 1/4. Which I love. I've been wanting to increase my endurance and get back into my longer runs. At my peak, I was running 6 miles/day at about a 10 min. mile. Not the fastest in the world, but still a bit faster than my current 13 min or so mile. I miss how enjoyable it was to just get out and run. Right now I'm still at the point where I have to make myself. Most people never get past this stage, but I remember someone telling me one time that once to get up to about 20 miles/week, you really start to ENJOY running. And, at least with me, they were SO right. It sounds weird, but it's true. I loved being able to just be outside, alone with my thoughts, and just go! And if someone can get to the point where they enjoy exercise, YAY! How nice is that to not have to try and drag yourself out to exercise? That is my goal. Yes, losing the weight will be great, but if I can start enjoying my runs by the time the weather is nice, I'll be one happy girl. :o)

. . .that I may speak words of kindness . . .

I've had some encounters recently with people that really irritate me and get on my nerves. I have very little tolerance for stupidity or people who think/act like they are better than others. This sometimes leaves me speaking of those individuals not very kindly. Which, of course, is not a good thing to do. I know I can't change others, and who knows, those things may forever bother me, but I can change my reaction to it. This will be hard. It's hard to accept that you can't do anything except change how you deal with the same irritating things. But, my goal is to not say anything unkind about anyone for 2 weeks. If I honestly can't think of anything nice to say, I will say nothing. I'm sure Jesus ran into annoying, dumb, and irritating people, but he was always still kind in his thoughts and words. Now, I'm not saying that I'm a horrible gossip or that I'm always talking about people, but I know that I can do better. And I know that as a woman, one of my roles should be to build and lift others up, and it's hard to do that if I'm not always kind in my thoughts and words. I want to be a woman who speaks 'words of kindness that comfort, lift and heal.'

Progress so far

(***Originally I wasn't planning on posting my weight, and even now I'm conflicted about it. Inevitably when someone hears my weight, or my weight goals, they start getting a negative attitude because they assume I'm just complaining and I don't really need to lose weight, etc. But that's not the case. I'm naturally a very small person, and I've kept on weight after having my babies just like many other women. I just want my body back. So, that's why I wasn't planning on putting my weight down, but then I figured, heck, this blog is for me, and anyone that reads this and has that attitude about me, obviously they're not really my friends, aren't trying to be understanding, and can just stop reading. Now, this is a hard move for me, because I'm a people pleaser and I usually do what I can to keep the peace, but this is kind of a sore spot for me. Just because I may have started out smaller than some other people, doesn't mean I don't have just as much of a right to want my body back. So, if you're still interested and won't think critically of me . . .read on.)

Back in January I weighed 127. I hoped to reach my 'ideal weight' by the time Todd came home, but I had put it off too long. I now only had 1 1/2 months left. So I had to adjust my goal. My ideal goal is 108; my new goal for when he comes home, is 115. I still plan on continuing after he comes home and reach 108 by my birthday in May. (Now, I know that if you're still reading this, you shouldn't be one of the critical ones, but I feel that I need to clarify something anyway. I'm not unrealistic. Anyone who knows me from growing up, knows that I'm naturally a small person. I was VERY small. When I got married, I weighed 98 lbs. And at my 11 week check up when I was pregnant with my 2nd baby, I still only weighed 101 lbs. BUT, I AM NOT trying to get back to pre-ANY-baby weight. I don't think that would be healthy. But, since I'm naturally small, I would like to get to the lower end of my 'healthy weight range'. It says I'd be underweight if I weighed less than 108, so that's why I'm stopping there. Ok, I'm done clarifying.)
So, starting Jan. 12th, I've been really watching my calories and trying to run 6 days a week. The running hasn't always happened, but usually it does. I've been running 2 miles and either walking 1 or 2 more. Usually just one. BUT in the last 3 1/2 weeks, I've managed to lose 7 1/2 lbs. I weighed in at 119.4 yesterday! I'm very proud of myself, as it hasn't always been easy. I always try to come in under my calorie budget just with my diet, and then any exercise I do on top of that, just helps me lose faster. I know that it will be hard to maintain this schedule, but with only 3 weeks left until Todd comes home, I should definitely reach my 115 before he gets here. (Todd has also been working on his diet and exercise and has lost 35 lbs. since he's been gone.)
I really look forward to my runs. I'm running on the treadmill, and although I hate it, I feel so good when it's done. There are a couple of problems with it though. I can only run when Lillian is sleeping, otherwise she keeps crawling over to the treadmill and trying to touch it. So I usually have a specific window of time, and if we're not home while she's napping, it usually doesn't happen. The 2nd is that the treadmill is BORING! It's better now that it's in my front room instead of my garage and all I could do is stare at the wall. I usually put the TV on or a movie, but still, it's so easy to just push the stop button and decide I want to be done. So, besides the scenery, that's a big reason that I prefer running outside, and not on a track. I can't just stop whenever I'm tired, because I know I still have to keep running in order to get home. Once the weather is nicer, I'll be able to run outside, but I obviously can't do that while Lillian is sleeping, so that will have to wait until Todd is home and he can stay home with the kids.
So, that is my update so far. Now everyone is caught up to where I am. I really hope that you can understand my position. That even though my #s may be smaller than some others, I still face the same problems that others face and the same desire, too.

Improving 'Me'

I've been looking at many things recently that I want/need to improve in and I think a blog dedicated strictly to that will help me. This will include many different areas of improvement. My first thought was that this would just be sort of a weight loss journal. But the more I thought about the other things in my life that I need to work on, the more I realized that I could use the same support and accountability in other areas, too. (Even if this is never read by anyone else, it will be great to look back on my progress.) So this will include exercise/diet/weight loss/etc., spirituality, parenting, skills . . .whatever I feel at the moment that has to do with a better Me.
2010 is going to be the YEAR OF NANETTE! Hopefully when this year is over, I can look back and really see a better Me. A more knowledgeable, spiritual, caring, patient, skilled, and yes, thinner Nanette. :oD