Thursday, September 13, 2012

Standing up for my beliefs

I'm usually not very vocal about my political beliefs. My thinking is pretty much, people either agree with me, so why talk about it, or they don't agree with me, so I won't convince them, or they aren't interested in talking about politics. So with all of the posts going around facebook, I rarely click, or decide to comment on, the posts because I'd rather not get into confrontations.

Well, yesterday, I happened to click on the following facebook post from one of my friends.

 
I know it's hard to read, but basically it's about how so many people are struggling to get by, and how the Romney's get at $70,000+ tax break for their horse. Even though the post was inaccurate, I wasn't going to waste time commenting on it. But then I happened to glance down at the comments, and while most were typically just agreeing that Republicans are bad and this is why because we're all greedy and don't care about anyone else, etc., the third post said, "Friends don't let friends vote for cult members."  This one I couldn't let go. So the following is the back and forth I had with this friend of a friend about the church.
 
Ross (friend of a friend)- "Friends don't let friends vote for cult members."
 
Me- "The same propaganda could be done with a picture of a wealthy democrat. Neither side gains points when they put out unimaginative, simple and inaccurate information. I don't agree with the democrats, but I also don't agree with the republicans when they talk about, or post, inaccurate information about Obama . . . Or name call.
And just a side note, the cult reference is unwarranted and inaccurate."
 
Ross- "You think it's unwarranted to point out that a person running for leader of our country is in a fringe religion? Mormonism is indeed a cult in every sense of the word."
 
Me- "It isn't a cult. And that's what I'm talking about. People who choose to not do their own research about something and yet insist on throwing around inaccurate information and words meant to scare others, or just get an emotional reaction, are doing their side a disservice. I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (mormon) and we are definitely not a cult. And if Peter remembers me at all from high school, he could attest that I'm a pretty 'normal' and tolerant person who knows how to make her own decisions. I don't know what you think makes us a cult, but we have church services all over the country, every Sunday, usually at 9 am, and the meetings are open to anyone who wants to come. If you want to know what we believe, go to the source.
You're probably a really nice and good person who believes in being nice and tolerant of others; why aren't Mormons afforded the same courtesy?
You have every right to not want to vote for someone for any reason you want, but say it's because he's mormon, not because he's part of a cult."
 
Ross- "I did not mean “cult” in a demeaning way. People often use cult as a scary term to mean something it's not. The actual definition is “a system of religious beliefs, often regarded as unorthodox”. I’m also not sure that I implied that you were intolerant or abnormal or that Mormonism was a closed-door sect. From what I have gathered, Mormons are very kind people.

I am not of any religion but I do consider myself a student of them. They fascinate me and it truly amazes me how people can believe some of the things they do. It may have appeared that I was singling out Mormonism; I assure you I wasn’t. I put most modern religions into the same pool of criticism.

That said, I have read the Book of Mormon and have had multiple conversations with LDS people about your religion and its history. From what I have gathered, and correct me if I’m wrong, Mormons believe the Book of Mormon to be absolute truth, right? Unfortunately, this includes polygamy, racism, sexism, homophobia, the belief that men can become gods, and many other things that I just can’t quite figure out how they are justified or believed. Like most other religions, some of the core LDS beliefs have evolved over time whenever it becomes politically or otherwise convenient. What happened to absolute truth? Black people were not even allowed to be priests in LDS until 1978. What changed? Women are still not allowed, right? Forgive me for the harsh criticism, but I believe that any belief is open for debate and should be challenged and not blindly accepted. This goes for all religions.

One of the best things about this country is that it was founded on the freedom of/from religion. It’s a great freedom… but I absolutely draw the line at elected officials. I do not want my leaders letting their religion influence their decisions that affect others. We need to elect the people willing to help the largest number of Americans, not the ones that govern according to their personal beliefs. That’s not what the founding fathers wanted.

Given the option of Obama and Romney… they both are religious, but there are big differences. In the last 3 years, I have noticed that Obama most certainly does not inject his religion into how he governs. For that I respect him (though it has angered many religious types who wish he would). Regarding Romney, I most certainly do not want a person who believes it is possible to become a god by collecting enough money and funneling it to his church. His stances on most of the issues just reek of his religion. This is not what I believe is in the best interest of this nation or the majority of its people. My vote goes to Obama who has showed me that he has been a fair, tolerant, unbiased leader worthy of a 2nd term."
 
Me- "There is no longer a ‘proper’ way to call someone a cult. It didn’t start out as a derogatory term, but that has become its meaning. And with that label, it is usually implied that people are intolerant, secluded, or can’t think for themselves and do whatever their ‘leader’ tells them to do. (This is why it’s better to not use terms like that.)

One of our articles of faith says, “We believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly; we also believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God.” We believe that, like the Bible, the Book of Mormon was written by ancient prophets. That does not mean that when they talk about war, for example, that we believe we should be fighting wars all the time. It is an account of the history of the people. We are not a racist people. Everyone likes to bring up the fact that there was a formal proclamation in ’78 that allowed black males to receive the priesthood, but no one mentions the blacks that were part of the church almost from the beginning, and received the priesthood, at a time when the rest of the country was still segregated. And that was one of the reasons that Mormons were disliked at the time. Yes, at a time in history, they were not able to get it, but they were always allowed membership, and today, most of our membership is outside of the country, and is widely spread throughout Africa. So I don’t believe it’s accurate to call us racist. We do not practice polygamy. That was a part of our early history, but hasn’t been practiced for over 100 years.

We are not homophobic. There’s a difference between being homophobic and not agreeing with the practice. I don’t agree with it, but I have friends who are gay. It’s no different than friends that do other things that I don’t agree with. I don’t dislike my friends for making those choices; it’s their right. People seem to think that if you don’t agree with something or someone, that you can’t still love that person. I believe that’s wrong, and it’s definitely not what we’re taught.

As far as sexism, that’s just bunk. Women in Utah were granted the right to vote in 1870, almost fifty years before the amendment to the Constitution. Their right was revoked by congress in 1887. It was later restored, along with the right to hold office, in 1895 when the state constitution was written. That’s way earlier than most, if not all (I don’t know the time line of every state), states. Now, you may be referring to the fact that women don’t hold the priesthood, and that is accurate. We don’t. But we don’t see that as not being equal; we see that as different roles. Women hold plenty of leadership roles in the church, and have had roles since the founding of the church. Our women’s organization is the largest women’s organization in the world and was started back in 1842. And anyone that comes to a meeting will quickly see how valued women are in our church.

As far as ‘becoming Gods,’ we believe that we are children of our Heavenly Father. We believe that he has a plan for us to return to live with him. Through the sacrifice and atonement of Jesus Christ, he has prepared a way for us to do this. We do not, however, believe that we will go to heaven and sit around playing harps all day. What else does God want for us? The goal is to become more like him. When people say that we think we can become Gods, it’s again said in a way to shock people. What do others think will happen when we reach heaven? Are we to stay like we are? Or are we to progress to something better? Because I for one am not perfect and I hope that I will someday be closer to being like God.

Do we do things that are ‘politically or otherwise convenient?’ Well, if that was the case, we wouldn’t have allowed women the right to vote; we wouldn’t have allowed blacks into our church in a time when they were kept separated. When things change in our church, like the proclamation to stop polygamy or allow blacks the priesthood, it is done by a council. We believe the leader of our church to be a prophet, seer and revelator. We also have a Quorum of Twelve Apostles. They gather, pray and receive guidance. And while that may sound weird to some, it is no different than the apostles and prophets of the Bible. We believe that God still talks to his people today, and not just in the time of the Bible, and that there is continuing revelation.

Being a member, and presumably having more experience with members of my church, I can tell you that we are not dictated to by our leaders. Harry Reid is the senate majority leader, and has been since ’87. He’s a Mormon, but no one questions whether the church will dictate to him what he should do in his position. That is not the way of our church. There are plenty of democrats and independents in our church. People also tend to believe that we’ll vote for someone just because they’re a Mormon. Well, that’s dumb. If Obama was a Mormon, I still wouldn’t vote for him because I don’t like his policies. Same goes for Harry Reid. They may both be great guys, but I’m conservative, so they would not be my choice.

So, as far as Romney is concerned, his ‘stance on most of the issues’ can’t ‘reek of his religion,’ when other people of his religion have different stances and different views. His views are conservative, and that’s what his stance reeks of—conservatism. I do want to clarify that Romney doesn’t, nor does any Mormon, believe that he can become a God by ‘collecting enough money and funneling it to his church.’ Again, that’s a statement meant to excite. We believe in the law of tithing. We pay 10% of our increase to the church. That doesn’t go to pay the leaders of the church. Our leaders are all volunteers. They have regular jobs and have to find time to help and serve others. Tithing goes to build churches, temples, and help lower tuition at Brigham Young Universities. (Not only for members.) Our church provides lots of humanitarian aid, and most of the aid is to members not of our church. When natural disasters hit, we are some of the first on the scene to help out with food and clean up, and not just in this country; all over the world. Tithing is a part of many religions, and is not our way of buying our way into heaven. If there is a poor person who has never made a dollar in their life, and thus had nothing to pay tithing on, they could still make it to heaven. Romney pays more in tithing because he earns more. How many people do you know that give up 10% of their income to charity? I’m not saying that that makes him/us better than anyone, because it doesn’t. I’d just like for you to keep it in context. This is something we are willing to do because we’ve been given so much in our lives. In fact, everything we have we believe we’ve been blessed with from the Lord; so giving back just 10% is not much to ask. It’s a faith thing and not a greed thing, so please don’t make light of it.

There’s more that I could say, but this is already incredibly long, and has moved away from Peter’s original post, and for that I apologize. I’ll just say that, if your views don’t line up with Romney’s policies, that’s fine; don’t vote for him. But keep it about his policies; he does."
 
Ross- "Thanks a lot for your insight. I always find it great to get information "from the source" vs all of the misinformation you can find on the internet or even via traditional research. It's good to get information from someone who appears to fully understand their church.

While I don't quite get it, I respect your convictions... pretty amazing how we are in a place and time where people with such different views can hold a civil conversation, no? If only all Christians were like you and atheists like me, we might actually get some some things accomplished together."


Doing this was WAY outside my comfort zone, but I'm glad it worked out okay. I don't know why I chose to look at that post, but I'm glad I did.  I don't know that I was super eloquent in my response, and probably didn't do as well as someone else might have, but it felt good to know that I had a chance to try to explain my church better to someone, and that I took the opportunity. As a stay-at-home mom, I don't always have the chance to do that. Even with being in school, I don't get many opportunities.

I hope that I can have more opportunities to share what I believe and help correct false beliefs about the church.


Wednesday, March 7, 2012

The Upside

After my last post, I thought I would share the positive. While school has it's drawbacks, as I knew it would, it has been nice to be back in school. I've always liked school. I enjoy learning new things (some more than others). Since I started going back to school in Fall of 2010 I have ompleted 32 credit (12 classes), with a 4.0 GPA, and have made the Dean's List.

And after finishing the 16 credits (5 classes and a lab) that I'm taking this semester, I'll only have 12 credits to go and will finish my Associates by the end of December.  That's just a little over 2 years, when I was expecting it to take at least 3 years! It hasn't always been easy, but I am proud of what I have accomplished.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Everything that's left undone

Since moving to Maryland and going back to school, it seems like most other areas in my life have slipped.  I know that I'm a good student, and getting my education is important, and I know it's what I'm supposed to be doing (or at least was when I first decided to do it), but it feels like the rest of my life is going downhill with me being in school.

When I was "just" a stay-at-home mom (**read as "when I still had a crazy amount of responsibilities, but just not as much as I do now with school work piled on top of it"**), I was pretty on top of things.

1. I made sure each kid did their homework when they came home, and checked through all of their homework to make sure they got the right answers. They never, or as close to never as you can get, missed homework assignments. And they were prepared for school each morning.
2. I would help them study for upcoming tests and quizzes.
3. I made sure that they did their chores right after homework and the kids got to the point where I didn't even have to tell them; they just did them automatically.
4. I made sure that they practiced their instruments EACH day.
5. I spent lots of time on my calling in the Primary Presidency.
6. I was awesome at doing my Visiting Teaching and rarely missed a month.
7. I watched what I ate and exercised daily (4-6 miles) and maintained a healthy weight.
8. I would get together with ladies, for Relief Society or just for fun, for my 'down time.'
9. I kept on on appointments like dentist and Dr. appointments.
10. We would take family walks, watch movies or do other things together as a family.
11. We had family dinner regularly.
12. We had regular Family Home Evening, scripture reading & prayers.
All while Todd was deployed.

Since I've been in school, things have changed.

1. I haven't checked to make sure that my kids homework is done as often, which has resulted in MANY missed assignments.
2. I don't have time to check on homework let alone help them study for anything. So, coupled with missing homework, some grades have been lower and it's been a struggle to lift them.
3. Chores for most kids are a joke. Even with chore charts up, if I don't remind them, and actually stand in the room while they do it, chores rarely happen. (Myself included.)
4. I'm not always home, or free from homework, to make sure that the kids practice their instruments. (This has been a really hard one for me. I'm such a music person and I think it's so important that they learn to play an instrument, especially piano.) This has lead to us pulling kids from some lessons because it was a waste of money and the teachers' time to continue lessons when they wouldn't practice. (There are still a couple of lessons going on for the ones who will practice, but 3 lessons were dropped.)
5. I keep up with my calling now, but it's because I'm the Primary pianist, so I really don't have to do any preparation. So it's perfect right now.
6. I've been decent at doing Visiting Teaching, but not as good as I was. And even when I do the visits, I don't put as much preparation into it as I used to. :(
7. I have probably exercised less than 10 times since we've moved to Maryland over a year and a half ago. And with my school schedule, I find myself eating out a lot more and often times just eating more junk even when I'm not eating out. I haven't even been close to maintaining my weight. I did ok the first year, but in the last 6 months, I have put on 20 lbs. (Yes, 20 lbs.)
8. I try to get together with some ladies every now and then, but even when I do, I'm always thinking about the homework that I should be doing or feel bad that I'm not doing something with my family during that time, even though it's needed as my 'down time.'
9. My kids just went to the dentist for the first time since moving here a year and a half ago and Abigail had her first cavities, and pretty big ones at that. :(
10. We started doing family walks when we first moved here. Each Sunday we would walk around the lake or the neighborhood, but that hasn't happened in a while. And I don't know when the last time was that I just did something fun with the children. Most family activities are just Todd and the kids.
11. Family dinner happens when Todd is here, but again, it's usually just Todd and the kids. When Todd is gone, it's often just the kids; I'm usually gone or eating upstairs while doing homework.
12. My kids keep mentioning how our Family Home Evening board assignments haven't changed and that it's STILL their turn to do _____. We did well with scripture reading for awhile, but it's now become hit or miss. Prayers still happen for meals, but family prayers don't happen all of the time.

I know I can get better at some things and I know I could manage my time better, but I feel that most things won't really change until I'm done with school. I've been trying to finish as quickly as I can, so it won't drag out too long. The upside is, I'm in school fewer semesters. The downside is that I'm busier each semester, and this semester has been the busiest. I'm taking five classes and a lab. I knew it would be a lot, but after this semester, I'll only have four more classes to go. Hopefully I can take one or two this summer, and then finish the other ones in the fall and graduate.  But that's just the first two years.

Todd would like me to take a break after I graduate until after we move to our next duty station before starting the last two years.

Each time I get a note from a teacher, see another missed assignment, gain another pound or lock my bedroom door so my kids won't disturb me, it just makes me feel worse as a  mom. I was never the "world's best mom," but I was a lot better than I am now. And everytime someone praises me for being an 'amazing mom' or something, it makes me feel like a fake. (Oftentimes, just being the mom of a lot of children is the reason for the praise, not neccessarily because I've done anything amazing.) But all I can think about is how often my children argue or fight and the laundry list of things that I haven't done. (And laundry is another problem of it's own.)

I'm working on at least trying to get the important things like FHE, scriptures and prayers back on track, but I just feel like I'm so far from where I was, and even father from where I want to be.

I know that I was supposed to go back to school, although it was not the most convenient time with Todd's traveling schedule for work being like it has been. In blessings that I've received, they've mentioned how my family would receive the benefits of me going back to school, how I would receive their support, but also how the devil will throw everything he can at me during this time. It's hard to see any benefit that my family has received with me being in school. I know it's good for them to see the importance that we place on education and doing well in school, but it seems like my lack of time has only made things worse since I've gone back to school.

Despite my tone of this post, I'm not an unhappy person. I don't dwell on these things all of the time and I'm not unrealistic and think that I don't do any positive things. I just felt that I needed to talk about it. Soon I hope to be the type of mom that I used to be, and hopefully someday I'll be the type of mom I would like to be.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Strawberry Salad

I got this recipe from my sister Tricia a few years ago, and this has now become my favorite salad. My family loves it.

Dressing
2T Sesame seeds                      
1T Poppy Seeds                       
1T Minced Onion                     
1/4 t Worcestershire Sauce       
1/4 t Paprika
1/2 C Olive Oil
1/2 C Sugar
1/4 C Distilled White Vinegar
Salad
10 oz. bag of baby spinach (I usually use 2 bundles of fresh spinach)
1 qt. sliced strawberries (I like to add more)
1/2 of a small bag of sliced almonds (again, I add more)

Whisk sesame seeds, poppy seeds, minced onion, Worcestershire sauce, paprika, olive oil, sugar and vinegar in a small mixing bowl. Chill for 1 hour.

Combine spinach, sliced strawberries & sliced almonds in a salad bowl.

Mix in salad dressing. Toss & refrigerate for 10 minutes before serving.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Baby Steps

Many people assume that JAGs (Judge Advocate Generals or military lawyers) get their schooling paid for and receive bonus pay like pilots and doctors. NOT TRUE!
The military does not pay off student loans for attorneys.

However, they are allowed two continuation pay bonuses. After they serve as a JAG for four years, if they extend for another two, then they can get a small bonus. After those two years, if they agree to do another four years, then they can get a little more. (Which, of course, they take taxes out of so a person has to wait until next year's tax return to get the rest of the bonus.)

That's it.

Period.

Well, today Todd got one of those bonuses. We've been working on paying off debt for awhile and today we were able to completely pay off one student loan and a little extra on other debt. Yay!!

We were going to apply for a program where the government would pay off the remainder of a person's student loans if they work in some sort of government/public service for 10 years. While that would be wonderful (it would save us quite a bit), we hate having Todd's other student loan hanging around that long, so we're just going to bite the bullet and pay it off. So we could be debt free, except the house, in two more years, EXCEPT that Todd wants to pay off the 2nd mortgage first.

Now, I'm a Dave Ramsey girl. I think the way he tells people to do things makes sense and I like it. He has seven baby steps and they are:
1- $1,000 emergency fund
2- Debt Snowball (pay off debt except for house)
3- 3-6 months emergency fund
4- Invest 15% of income towards retirement
5- College funding for children
6- Pay off home early
7- Build wealth & give

As you can see, paying off the home early is #6, so I planned on paying off the 2nd mortgage AFTER we finished paying off all other debt, funding our emergency fund, etc. So tackling it now is hard for me because it means pushing back our 'debt free' date. Now I know that it's basically all in my head and paying it off now or later doesn't make us any less or more in overall debt, but it's that's just the way my brain works. But it's ok. Besides, Dave Ramsey does say that if your 2nd mortgage is less than 1/2 of your income to add it to babystep 2, and if it's more than 1/2 to stick it in babystep 6. Ours is less, so I guess we should do it this way anyway. Although it's still hard to be ok with it. It's like saying "I'm going to lose 20 lbs this year" and then changing it to "I'm going to lose 60 lbs in 3 years." The satisfaction of reaching your goal doesn't come as early.

So, now we have another four years (UGH!) before being debt free besides the house, although hopefully we'll sell the house by then and be COMPLETELY debt free. I can't wait! But for now, at least we're a little closer.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

New Year's resolution

Yeah. This is why I've decided that my New Year's resolution is going to be to lose weight. I still have to figure out when I'm going to fit my exercise in, but it has to be done. (Plus, I just feel so much better when I'm running.)

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Meatballs

I think this is another recipe we got while living in Germany. I don't know how many times I've been asked for this recipe. These meatballs are super simple and make a perfect potluck dish. (This is a double recipe, but if using for your own family, just cut it in half.) Again, this is one I always have memorized (it only has three ingredients), but it is a favorite.

2 pkg frozen meatballs (home style, original or any other flavor you'd like to try)
2 small bottles of BBQ sauce
1 large jar of grape jelly

Yes, you read that right--grape jelly. Sounds weird, but just try it.

Add all ingredients to a large crock pot, stir to mix, and cook on high for 3 hours.

That's it.

I'm sure you could also use homemade meatballs, but as I'm too lazy busy to try that, I use the frozen ones.

With the bags I use, (smaller size meatballs, not the large ones) it usually ends up making about 140 meatballs.






Broccoli & Cheese Soup

This is a recipe that I don't really need to write down since it's very easy to remember, but it is one of our family's favorites. We've been making this soup for the last 11 years. I got this from a Sister in our ward when we lived in Germany. It's not so much of a 'recipe' as it is just adding things to a soup mix to make it better and stretch it, but it is still very yummy.

I always double these amounts for my family.

1 pkg Bear Creek Broccoli & Cheese soup mix
1 can Cream of Chicken soup
1 can Chicken
1 pkg frozen chopped Broccoli (cooked)
2 C Cheddar Cheese

Make the Bear Creek soup mix as directed on package. Add cream of chicken soup and whisk. Then add remaining ingredients. Cook & stir until cheese is melted. Serve. The regular soup mix makes 8 servings, but when you add the other items, it will make more than that.

You can also use other mixes besides Bear Creek. That's what I normally use, but sometimes I grab whatever soup mix is cheaper.

The nice thing about this is that you pretty much just stick in whatever you want.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

My Favorite Recipes

(I know it's been a while since my last post, but hey, I'm here now. Don't judge me.) :)

I have family coming into town this weekend and I started thinking about the menu for when they come. I've kind of been in a rut and tend to make the same few things when guests come, but I usually don't have the same people returning very often, so I can get away with serving the same few things. Lame, I know, but there you have it. I wanted to make sure I didn't make the same things I did last time, so I've been looking at other recipes, searching for some online, etc. That led me to finally do something that I've talked about doing for years--organize my recipes.

I was telling my sisters over Christmas how I need to put together my own recipe book with just the recipes that MY family enjoys. I have plenty of recipe books, I'm sure you do, too. I have some family ones, some church ones, 'regular' ones from the store, but I hate having to track down the one or two recipes that I might like in each book . . . so I rarely do. Also, I have my recipe box and various emails with recipes that I like or think that some day I'll try.

While this isn't a book, I thought I could start keeping track of the recipes that I really like here on my blog. I'll have to find some way of keeping track and organizing them (I'm not used to tagging or anything fancy, so we'll see what I figure out), but at least I'll have them all in one place.

And if any of you have a REALLY good recipe that you would like to share, pass it on and it may make it on here. . . eventually. :)

**Disclaimer- For those of you who read this blog (all 2 of you), I make no claim that any of the food posted on this site is meant to be healthy. Some of it may be, much of it probably won't be. That is the risk you take if you decide to try one of the recipes.

**Disclaimer #2- The first disclaimer, and this one as well, could sound much more legal and official if Todd helped me come up with something, but I'm really not that motivated to make it sound really clever.